new post by Zachary...

   Hello, My name is Zachary i am one of the special people who went to the Florida trip, I'm going to tell you a little about it. First, we unpacked and looked around. It was Right next to the beach it was the backyard. Then we had a family meeting and found out the house cost a lot of money...so we had to really be sure to keep our stuff picked up ... did i mention it had an elevator?? Well then it was off to bed. Well I got to go. 

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Heading to Florida

Last year our family tried what many families may have done for years.. a family vacation.  Yep, we took the circus on the road!  It was a great week, the cousins got to play ALL week long - we played games and no one ended up fighting or hospitalized..although Brooklynn's jelly fish sting was no fun.  (no one peed on her even though some thought that would really work).  

It was a great week with lots of good memories.  Pammy was only with us for another week after this trip, so it made it even more of a blessing that we got to spend so much time with her that week.  It was a real blessing.

SO, tonight is the big night.  We are loading up the rental van and my car and 'hitting the tires' as Wakil (mom's Afghan son) would say.  It is bittersweet to be sure.  Lisa is still at Hurstbourne Care Center and can't go with us.  She is really sad about it - so will you pray for her?  Also, we will surely be thinking about the empty place that is so evident when we are all together, Pammy will be missed.

Stephan and Deanna can't go - but they are sending Brooklynn and Zach with us... which may be it's own kind of vacation for them! :-)   Joe, Ashley and Alexis get to go this time - YEA!  (But that did make lisa more sad that her grandbaby would be running around all week with us and she won't be there).  Jon and Jake are also along this time, with Jake's girlfriend, Franckie too.  We have some special guests as well - 4 of Pammy's friends are going to go with us.  Christie, Julie, Michael & James.  So, we have all the elements of a traveling circus!

Jen and I are planning to dominate in corn hole, we are in for some fun with guitar hero and after beach days... we are hoping for some fun game nights.  We have big plans, who knows how they will turn out...but stories are for sure in our future.

Will you pray for us as we travel?  I am a bit nervous driving with so many of our family in one vehicle, especially the kids.  Please pray for Michael and Joe/Jon as they drive the other vehicles down.  Will you also pray for Lisa - that she will have a good week, although she doesn't know how it could be good with everyone gone.  If you want to take a field trip and actually meet Lisa - I am sure she would love some visitors!  Hurstbourne Care Center is on Stonybrook - near target on taylorsville road... she is room 23 (or somewhere outside smoking!).  Thanks for that idea Julie 2!!!  

Lisa did get encouraging news yesterday that she gets out next friday (if all continues to go as it is now).  So, that is an answer to many prayers already!  Thank you for checking out our blog and praying for us... 

more news from the road show soon!

May 29

For starters, Lisa did make it to the girls birthday party.  She stayed a couple of hours, enjoyed cake and ice cream even.  She seemed tired when she left, but was doing pretty good.  It was nice to see her in something other than pajamas for a change, although she said her pants were too tight.  They were a size S and looked to me like they might even be a bit big on her.  I think she is just not used to regular clothes.

Sunday she was sick much of the day.  Her blood pressure is just not cooperating.  When it hit 200/120 for the second time early in the morning Monday, they finally sent her back to the hospital.  Thankfully, after treating her for the day in the ER, they released her.

The nursing home, um, i mean 'rehab center, has really been depressing for her.  I can completely understand why!  They seem understaffed, Jake swears that some of the aides are hopped up on some kind of drugs and Lisa suspects the double amputee lady who rolls around in her wheelchair all day is stealing from the residents.  Yea, I wouldn't be too keen on being there.

Yesterday afternoon she was taken back to the hospital.  Her stomach problem has either returned, or she has something different and her blood pressure is back up again.  She has dialysis this morning, so maybe that will help a bit.  

Thanks for your prayers!

May 24

Happy Memorial Day weekend!  I hope this post finds your families enjoying time together. 

My last post was Lisa back in the hospital.  By Tuesday, she was stable and transitioned back to the Hurstbourne Care Center.  She lost several days of rehab and that set her back a bit.  She had hoped to be out by now and it looks like (praying nothing else goes wrong) it could be a couple of weeks away before she gets home.  I cannot imagine how frustrating it would be to be out of commissions for months at a time, but this is not new for Lisa  - and that is such a sad thing to me.

She was so happy that Jake and Franckie came up to the hospital last weekend before her prom to show off how pretty she looked and how handsome he was.  The nurses were making them stop all the way down the hall saying how cute they looked.  That brought a smile to Lisa's face.   Until jake tried to eat some dorito's in his tux... oh well, he didn't get any on his clothes - thankfully.  

Today is the birthday party for Graylen and Caroline.  They will be 3 and 8 year milestones.  We are hoping that Lisa can come - the kids would be so happy to see her and it would do her well to get out for a bit.  She had to have an extra dialysis treatment yesterday and has to go today as well - so i am not sure she will be feeling up to it.  I hope to report next that she was there and had fun... maybe i'll even  have some pictures from the birthday circus!

thanks for checking in!

The Flying Trapeze...

Well, I am beginning to see that life is like being on a trapeze...soaring high one moment, swooping low and sometimes even flying in mid-air without even the trapeze to hang onto.  Life has been crazy this week.  I got home from Poland on Sunday night - I left Monday afternoon for a 5 hour drive to So. Bend and spent 2 days with some great people from mega church mission programs.  I drove back home and then had a full day on thursday at work and a mission team meeting Thursday night.  No matter how much you travel, jet lag still creeps in.  So, I battled sleepiness various points of this crazy week.  Then on Friday Lisa moved from the "rehab center''  back to the hospital.  Her hemoglobin is very low and her blood pressure was really high.  I think this is the part where we are again flying mid-air.  She is back at Baptist East in their transitional care unit - a step down from ICU.  They had been talking about letting her go home this weekend and I think that was exciting and scary for her.  She can do so much more than when she went to the rehab center, but still is not completely self-sufficient.  We'll see what today holds.

Tonight Jake is taking his girlfriend to her Jr. prom.  I am sure the teachers at Bullitt East are going to be so excited to see him back! :-)  

more soon from the circus!

Polish Family

Our families are often made up of both our biological families and those that 'become' family. There are those here in Poland that are definitely part of our extended family. I am glad that over the years, they have moved past just me and are integrated into my family at home. My Polish family have spent holidays with us, vacations and Pam spent a summer here in 2006 with them and they looked after her, encouraged her and gave her the experience of a lifetime.

It is nice to be with them and a little bittersweet. I have not been back here, a place that is so dear to me, since Pam died. I have been able to celebrate the birth of Magda and Daniel's new baby - Miki, he is soooo cute! Also, the announcement that John & Zaba are expecting their 3rd! They are awesome parents, so this baby will be blessed as well as a blessing.

The ministry here is continuing to grow - for more info on Proem - check out their website ... proem.pl

Lisa is continuing with her dialysis 3 days a week and therapy every day, sometimes twice. She is hoping to be out soon. Mark surprised her and bought them a house! I am not sure exactly where it is, but I think she got to go and look at it - and Jen said she liked it! I am really excited for them. They have been renting a house next door to mom for the past few years - they are really close to the hospital - but they have wanted to buy something for a while now. I know it will be an adjustment for her to not be so close to mom, but I am praying it will be good.

Thanks for checking in!

Note Brigade

Hey guys...
Mothers day is this sunday and it will be Lisa's first mother's day without Pam. I am sure this will be a hard time for her. If you or your friends would be willing to send her a short note of encouragement - that would be awesome!

Lisa McCardwell
HURSTBOURNE CARE CENTER
2200 STONEYBROOK
LOUISVILLE, KY 40220

I am leaving today for poland - but will be home on Sunday... I will continue to post while i am away - the beauty of technology!

Update via Colorado!

Thanks for those of you who gave us some good ideas on things that a person confined to a room in a place they don't really want to be, might find useful and cheery.  Her room is really shaping up.  Jake and Mark had to take her to dialysis on Thursday and Saturday because there was problem scheduling 'transport' (aka - ambulance) to take her to Suburban Hospital for her regularly scheduled dialysis.  Apparently Derby affects EVERYTHING in Louisville!

They weighed her finally and at 5'9" she only weighs 107 lbs!  I had guessed 110 and Jen guessed 105 - so she split it right down the middle.  It is hard to see her so thin.

She has been bored and tired.  I think the physical therapy is really wearing her out, in a good way.  I will blog more later on the people we have met at the rehab center (yes, it is more of a nursing home, with a section of rooms for rehab/medical patients --- but rehab center just sounds so much better!)

Lisa has been sleeping quite a bit, but visitors are SO welcome!  Barbara, please go up anytime, she would LOVE to see you!!  She is at dialysis on Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday mornings. Things have not changed since we shared a room and a double bed many years ago, she sleeps so soundly that you can hardly wake her up.  So for those that do go and see her, don't worry if it looks like she is comatose... that's her interpretation of sleeping beauty.  

I am in Boulder, CO today visiting friends and will be home on Sunday.  

Thanks for your prayers!

The Road to Recovery

The road to recovery is filled with lots of twists and turns, highs and lows. Today Lisa was moved to the Hurstbourne Care Center (on Stonybrook, off Taylorsville Rd.) I am not sure how to classify today. It was a twist that we haven't experienced before, Lisa not being completely independent. While it was a high for us that she was well enough to be discharged from the hospital, it was a low for Lisa that she didn't get to go home.

She has a roomate, Joan. Her side of the room is completely fixed up - she has 'nested,' complete with flat screen tv, mini fridge, etc. Mom is going to watch Graylen tomorrow while Jen and I give her side of the room some personality and home-like touches. We don't want to give her the sense that it is her new home, just some things that will make it easier to be there.

We will know more tomorrow about how long she might need to be there. Please pray that she will not be discouraged, her therapy tomorrow will give her hope of getting stronger and healthier.

Thanks again for praying for her!

Hospital Decor

Well, today Lisa was feeling well enough for she, Jen and I to talk decorating ideas.  I think that someone should hire the sisters three for upgrading their hospitals to a more cheery environment.  Jen says that yellow rooms would make the patients feel more happy.  Lisa said that the gray tones just make her feel blah and like she wants to take a nap.  Hey, wait a minute. Do you think that hospital employees lobbied for a color that would make their day 'nurse button' free?  Hmmm, something to think about.  

I could offer some feedback on what other family members say at the vending machines ... one day I sat camped out by the coke/snack machines.  First, they need a change machine somewhere - people sometimes only have 5 or 10 dollar bills.  Well, I guess they don't really want $5 in quarters, but.. well - they complained about it.  Luckily, I was packing change and helped a few folks out.  $1 for peanuts or a twix seemed to be an outrage many.  I was happy that they offered both bottles and can options in the coke machine.  I generally hate drinking from a bottle - cans are the way to go!  

Lisa looked really good today.  She ate half of a 4 cheese souffle from Panera - that is one of her favs, although I think it doesn't look too tasty.  She didn't feel nauseous after she ate, that's progress.  Maybe her stomach stuff is working itself out.  We still need to figure out what they are going to do about her thyroid.  They are having to give her blood thinner medicine for her blood clot - so I bet they can't take the tumor out until after her clot is resolved.  

Maybe she will be on her way to a rehab facility this week even.  I would love for her to get stronger and feel more like her old self. I think part of her depression lately is because she has felt so weak that she doesn't want to get off the couch.  She is a great cook and for the longest time has not felt like even fixing anything - so I am praying that she will have good physical therapists that will encourage, challenge and inspire her to focus on what she "can'' do.

I am also praying she will be open to some kind of counseling. I don't even know how that would work, but I think that after 10 years of chronic health problems and the loss of Pam it is a lot for her to work through on her own.  Will you pray about that?

Thanks for checking our blog - and thanks for praying for our family!

Movin' Up

Lisa moved up last night to the 5th floor...no more ICU!  YEA!   

She seems to be feeling better, although really weak and tired.  She was on dialysis this morning so there was very little room for visitors - so we will go up this afternoon.  She has a roommate and said that she snored ALL night!  :-(   

It looks like when she is finally released that she will go to a rehab facility before getting home.  She is so weak that someone would have to be with her all the time - she is way to independent for that!  I was glad that she seemed to 'want' to do that.

Dr. Saad will be back on Monday so we will get a better feel for where she is medically when he sees her.  The two big things are her stomach and thyroid.  The list has dramatically dwindled - hooray!

Thanks for your prayers!

Wednesday

We are becoming so familiar with Baptist East that we can give directions, make recommendations at the little cafe, show people how to 'buzz in' to ICU and know the routines of the doctors and nurses.  We have watched families happy transitions to regular rooms and the sadness of saying goodbye.  I wonder how doctors and nurses deal with people in such dire situations - not to mention their families, which you see the best and worst sides of, day in and day out.

Ilka, Lisa's day nurse is great.  She got Lisa into a chair today and she even ate a bit more.  There is something going on with her breathing and she had chills and sweats at different points in the day.  They said she may get moved to a regular room in the next day or two - her blood pressure is stable and her vital signs are also stable; but to us, she still looks like she needs more personalized care.  Physical therapy came today and tried to get her to walk a little bit and she just couldn't.  That was really discouraging to her.

Dr. Saad is at Suburban this week and won't be back until Monday.  His group is good, so she is getting good care - but we have such a comfort level with him, that we really wished he were the one checking her this week.  He will be back on Monday and we are really looking forward to that .. I hope he has enjoyed the break! :-)

We are praying that as the doctors see her in the morning, they can assess her correctly, that we will be able describe how we see her and ask good questions and that Lisa will have the ability to sit up longer and eat more.  It is scary to see how thin she has gotten.

Thanks for your prayers!

Tuesday

It is past the 2 week mark that Lisa has been in the hospital. 2 hospitals and 2 weeks later, she is still in ICU. She was pretty weak yesterday and her blood pressure still refuses to cooperate. She did well through dialysis, but afterwards was having some breathing issues. They did an x-ray of her chest and it all looked ok, so they thought it was maybe anxiety.

She is still not able to eat much, so she looks more and more thin. Will you pray that she will have an appetite and can keep what she is allowed to eat, down.

Thanks!

Monday

Yesterday morning Lisa was more like herself than she has been in 2 weeks. She is on a clear liquid diet, her NG tube is out and she was only running a very low temperature. Her blood pressure is still up and down a little, so they are having to supplement with iv medicine to get it down from time to time, but she is mostly on oral medications now.

She was complaining that her legs hurt, sometimes after dialysis they bother her, but the nurse had them checked for blood clots and sure enough...she had one! They are giving her medicine for that and also upped her pain medicine a bit.

Long hospital stays are not new to Lisa, but it never gets easy.

Thanks for your prayers!

Weekend Update

Lisa was pretty sleepy Saturday.  Billy and Brenda went to see her and I don't think she woke up the whole time they were there.   Her central line had to be changed to a new site and before the doctor got there to change it, she woke up in a very agitated state.  When we got back there she was yelling and trying to pull her nose tube out - it was crazy.  My guess is that the pain medicine she is on at home is a higher amount than what she is on in the hospital, so maybe it was some withdrawal or something making her act crazy.  We waited in the hall while they tried to get her settled down.  By the time we got back in there, she was restrained and in dream world.  They had to give her some ativan (sp?) to get her to stop pulling at her tubes.  YIKES.  I would not want to be a nurse!

This morning she was better, you could tell she was tired, and an understandable degree of grouchiness.  She is so tired of being sick.  She can only have ice chips and popsicles until they get her stomach problem figured out, but she seemed ok with that - it is certainly better than nothing.  They did another scan of her stomach yesterday and I think we might hear something about that tomorrow.

Good News and....

The original reason Lisa went into the hospital was the stroke, which led to the seizure. Sometimes I forget with the other things that have popped up while she's been in the hospital.

Report on her brain MRI: Dr. Melton, the neurologist, came in yesterday and gave her a big thumbs up. He said the new MRI ruled out the swollen brain stem, she had just moved in the earlier one and the affected area of the stroke was not going to cause her a lot of problems. It was an area that of the brain that affects vision - so her left peripheral vision might not be great, but he thought she was responding well when he checked her and she has equal strength on both sides - so all that is good.

Dissecting Aneurysm
Next in was Dr. Rogers, the cardiologist. His bed side manner was not the best - but he too felt that the dissection was minimal if any and wandered out the door in mid sentence, I think so I could not ask any other questions. Later I confirmed with Dr. Saad that after comparing everything, there is something small there that they will watch - but it doesn't look like it will cause her any problems for now. They were trying to keep her blood pressure under 130, but now it can fluctuate a bit more - up to 160 and that is ok.

Stomach Issue
Well, after all that good news, we were thinking that she might be headed for a regular room. But, something else is causing problems and she is keeping her spot in ICU 382 for now. Her small intestines are dilated quite a bit and her colon is slightly dilated. They did a CT of her stomach and it doesn't show an obstruction - it is dilated all the way through. They inserted an NG tube down her nose and are trying to empty her stomach of some gross stuff and trying to figure out what is going on. I think she will be on NPO (for you non-hospital folks - that is "nothing by mouth" - don't ask me how they came up with that!) she will be super grouchy if she is awake...yesterday she was pretty much out of it all day, thank goodness!

Still to Come
They are still going to biopsy her abnormal lymph nodes, but Dr. Saad doesn't think that is connected to her stomach trouble, so that will be later. Her thyroid is still an issue - but 'off to the side' for now.

Lisa's "Neighbor"
When I walked back into the ICU yesterday, one of our elders from Southeast was standing there. Gerald is one of the kindest men you will ever meet. His sister had been admitted and was Lisa's next door neighbor. His has such a sweet spirit, it was so nice to see him - and how he interacted with the nurses and his family was encouraging. Please pray for Gerald's family, his sister was being taken off life support last night and as Gerald said, "to have some comfort before she goes to be with Jesus."

Thank you for taking time to read this and for praying for us!

The Hidden Roll...

Although there is lots of time to just sit and wait around here at the hospital, Lisa has provided us with some much needed comic relief...most times not on purpose. If I were to really be a good sister, I probably wouldn't find humor in things like last nights hidden roll episode.

She is really not wanting to eat anything and it is really important that she does. So yesterday someone was here at all her meals to encourage her to eat and when necessary, bribe her with something to drink if she did. She is on such a strict liquid restriction that a drink of sprite is pretty good incentive.

Last night Jennifer and I were up here and she let us know that she had no plans on eating. When her food came, it did not look all that appetizing, so we decided that the roll and the pudding would be what she could get down and keep down. Still, she protested. Her stomach has been hurting and she just didn't want to eat.

I stood by her bed, spoon in hand and began the rationalizing of why eating this vanilla pudding was a great idea, how much better she would feel, etc. She took a few bites. Victory! Then it was time for the roll. She was more defiant about that, so jen chimed in. She ate a bite or two. Time for a drink. This went on for a while and then while i was still standing by her bed, but looking up at the tv, she began to try to HIDE her roll in the blankets!

Jennifer could see kind of underneath her tray and could see her, but the tray was blocking lisa's line of sight and she could not see Jen. While I was looking away, she began to try to get the roll slid over beside her - looking from the corner of her eye the whole time...then tried to get her blankets over it before I turned back around! When i did look back, the roll was laying beside her, only half hidden. Jennifer busted out laughing and Lisa was not amused!

For her creativity, we let her skip out on the last bite...

Friday's update...

Not much to report today...Lisa had several tests last night and more this morning of course we still know nothing, basically a lot of contradictory info. We are waiting this afternoon to catch the doctor and find out what is going on . Last night we watched her bp go from normal to 70 over 30. That was interesting. It was nice to see people rushing around and taking things seriously. She has had great nurses (Ilka is the awesome day nurse) and the doctor managing her case is great, so we are thankful for that.

Hopefully, we will get an update on her test results soon.

more later...

What day is it???

Well, by now, we are all a bit confused on what day it is. I was just informed it is Wednesday.

Lisa is more alert than she has been in a week. Her blood pressure is being managed by IV medicines again - so she will definitely be in ICU until that is under control. She is a bit discouraged today and is wrestling with this being the long-term situation for her...always on dialysis and it seems that there is always something else wrong.

I have been going back and forth from the hospital to work, trying to not get too far behind. I am on my way back up there now to see how the day went and will update again tonight.

Thanks for your prayers!

Tuesday, April 15th

Back at Baptist East...

Following a REAL 3 ring circus, we managed to get Lisa moved to Baptist East. She almost ended up on a ventilator yesterday afternoon, but is stable now and resting in ICU at Baptist. Thanks for your prayers.

They are reevaluating her here this morning and we'll know more later today on where they think things stand. She never did get scheduled for her MRI at Jewish, so I think they will do that today.

I ended up talking to the heart surgeon again yesterday to clarify/confirm what he saw on the tests run on her heart from here and there. The final word is that there is 'something' but it is small and at this stage, not at a stage that would need surgery. He recommends she has it checked in 30 days and then every 90 days to monitor it.

More soon... I now have Wi-Fi!! :-)